I took a moment to sit and look through some old pictures on the computer and I just need to share my thoughts.
5 years ago, this month, Bump and I received some devastating news while having one of our many routine ultra sounds on our twin girls at 29 weeks. Baby A, or Adara, as we already named her, no longer had a heartbeat. For several days afterward things were a whirlwind for us while the doctors tried to decide whether or not to induce my labor, or give Baby B (Gabriella) more time to develop to increase her chance of survival. Finally the decision was made to wait it out and let my body decide when to deliver. I was put on bed rest in the hospital while Gabby was monitored.
I was surprisingly okay with everything that was happening. I think that The Lord had been preparing me to accept whatever would happen from the moment we found out we were having twins after 6 years of trying to conceive. Anything that we were experiencing was such a blessing no matter what happened.
At almost 32 weeks I went into labor and had a c-section to deliver my little still born Adara and tiny little 3 lb. Gabby, who was rushed straight into the NICU. There was some weird drug interactions with me and I was pretty out-of-it by the end of the procedure and so I didn't get to see either of the girls right away.
About an hour after surgery the nurse brought in our little Adara Vivian (named for my mom). They had dressed her and had her wrapped in a blanket and she was beautiful to both of us even though to most she wouldn't have looked too great. That time was the most spiritual experience of my life and one that I will not forget.
The reason that I am sharing this story is because of how this has changed Easter Sunday for me. Now as Easter approaches I think more about the great gift that Jesus Christ gave us. He atoned for all of our sins so that we could return to live in the presence of God again, but he also overcame death and allowed all of us to be resurrected. Because of what Christ did so long ago, my little tiny baby that was never able to take a breath in this life will be given that chance again. She will be resurrected and I will get to hold that little girl again in my arms. And this time she will be absolutely perfect!
I cannot express my gratitude for this knowledge that I have. I had a hand in giving one of Heavenly Father's children a body that she will need to progress through eternity. Although she is not with us today, she will be again.
Happy Easter! Don't forget why we celebrate it.
8 comments:
Oh Erin,
I love you so much. You are so amazing and such an inspiration to me...I honestly could not ask for a better role model. I love you more than anyone else in this world Erin Wright Williams.
I remember that time and your great example of faith and courage. Having gone through a very similar experience with our first little girl, I could relate to so much of what you felt. I was also amazed at what a tender and spiritual experience it was for us. I too love Easter and the opportunity it provides to express gratitude for the matchless gift the Savior has given us and the hope of being able to hold those precious ones again! Thank you for sharing, Erin!
I loved this post. Thanks for the great reminder of what is important in life and what Easter truly should mean to us!
What a beautiful thought and great reminder of what Easter should be. I have been grateful for those trials in my life that seem so devastating and difficult when I am going through them because they give me so much more insight into the gospel and a chance to commune with the spirit like I would have never known was possible. Your little Gabby is beautiful and I'm sure Adara is super proud of her mommy for sharing a beautiful Easter testimony!
Thanks Erin. You are a great example of love and faith. Love you!
I love you Erin. Thank you.
That was beautiful Erie. That was a special moment in all of our lives.
WOW, I didn't even know!
What a beautiful post. :)
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